Alright, ladies. It's time we had a little chat.
Let's check our inhibitions at the door - we're about to get real about postpartum sex. And please, for the benefit of everyone involved here, let's rise above the need for formalities or political correctness. There's no space here for clutching your pearls, alright? You've just had a baby, for goodness sake. We all know how that happens...
After 40 weeks of pregnancy, your body is now yours once again. (Kind of. Maybe. You may be breastfeeding, which means you may still be feeling like shared space, but alas, here we are.) While you might have experienced an increased libido and easier achievement of the Big O due to increased blood flow from the second trimester forward, odds are that by the time you reached the tail end of your third trimester, you were ready to call #allthefouls in the bedroom. And for good reason! Late pregnancy comes with a slew of discomforts, and it may be particularly difficult to feel sexy with all of the physical changes you've experienced over the weeks and months prior.
But now. Now things have changed. Now that you've had your baby and are acclimating to postpartum life, you may be feeling more attractive than ever. Exhaustion from caring for a newborn aside, you're in a good place. Physically you're feeling lighter after having lost the water weight associated with pregnancy, your hair is thick and shiny, your nails are strong and growing nicely. Not to mention the fact that you now have the blessed mobility to reach your legs and lady bits for the wax or shave you likely craved for the past few weeks. So... You're ready to get back to it again. And I, my dear, am here to help you with these quick tips to make it as pleasurable as possible.
BE PREPARED FOR DIFFERENT
You're likely to find postpartum sex a little different from the sex you left behind. Your body has experienced a good bit of change, and you may find that the sensations of sex take some getting used to again. You may find that your breasts are tender or sensitive, and your hips and pelvis may just not feel "normal" - perhaps they are tight or perhaps even a little too loose due to the adjustment from round ligament softening in late pregnancy. Positioning may be a challenge the first few times. Don't be shy about saying what feels comfortable and what doesn't.
WHEN YOU FEEL SEXY, 'THE O' COMES EASY
Pun intended. I strongly encourage you to do what you need to get yourself in a mindset for sex prior to involving your partner. This may mean doing your hair, putting on your make up, or painting your nails. It's my firm belief that just as new brides are provided with a number of pampering rituals and gifts intended for intimacy, postpartum women should be in receipt of the same. Create a ritual for yourself! Here are a few tips for this:
- Purchase yourself a bit of new lingerie. I recommend checking out Frederick's or Hips & Curves for good quality items in a variety of styles and sizes.
- Spritz on a bit of perfume. Once a young woman asked Coco Chanel where one should apply perfume, and she replied "Wherever one wants to be kissed." You're welcome.
- Dress to impress. Queen Bey said best: Pull out the big guns, and put your freak'um dress on.
- Turn up the volume. Consider putting on a bit of music that makes you feel sexy - whether that's nature sounds, drum tracks, or trap music.
- If you don't use it, you lose it. Be sure to practice kegels throughout the day or, if you're feeling adventurous, try using beads to help tone your vaginal walls.
THINGS MAY NOT GO AS PLANNED